This is called "Talkin' John Birch Paranoid Blues". This is a fictitious story.1
Well, I was feeling sad and kind of blue,
I didn't know what I was gonna do.
The Communists were coming around,
They were in the air, they were on the ground,
They were all over!
So I ran down most hurriedly
And joined the John Birch Society,
I got me a secret membership card,
Went back to my backyard,
Starting look on the sidewalk,
'Neath the rose bush.
Well, I was looking everywhere for them god-darned Reds,
I got up in the morning, looked under my bed,
Looked behind the kitchen, behind the door,
Even tore loose the kitchen floor.
I couldn't find any.
I looked beneath the sofa, beneath the chair,
Looking for them Reds everywhere.
I looked way up my chimney-hole,
Even deep down inside my toilet bowl.
They got away!
I heard some footsteps by the front porch door,
So I grabbed my shotgun from the floor,
I snuck around the house with a huff and a hiss,
Saying, "Hands up, you Communists!"
It was the mailman!
He punched me out!
Well, I quit my job so I could work alone,
I got a magnifying glass like Sherlock Holmes,
Followed some clues from my detective bag,
I discovered there was red stripes in the American flag!
Did you know about Betty Ross?
Well, I was sitting home alone and I started to sweat,
I figured they was in my television set!
I peeked behind the picture frame
And got a shock from my feet that hit my brain.
Them Reds did it,
The ones on Hootenanny!
Well, I finally started thinking straight
When I run outta things to investigate.
I couldn't imagine doing anything else,
So now I'm home investigating myself!
Hope I don't find out too much!
Good God!
Who cares?
1
This is actually said at the end of the previous track on the album.