Well, I've already had two beers, I'm ready for the broom,

Please, Mrs. Henry, won't you take me to my room?

I'm a good old boy, but I've been sniffing too many eggs,

Talking too many people, drinking too many kegs.

Please, Mrs. Henry, Mrs. Henry, please!

I'm down on my knees and I ain't got a dime.

Well, I'm groaning in the hallway, pretty soon I'll be mad,

Please, Mrs. Henry, won't you take me to your dad?

I can drink like a fish, I can crawl like a snake,

I can bite like a turkey, I can slam like a drake.

Please, Mrs. Henry, Mrs. Henry, please!

I'm down on my knees and I ain't got a dime.

Now, don't crowd me, lady, or I'll fill up your shoe,

I'm a sweet bourbon daddy and tonight I am blue,

I'm a thousand years old, I'm a generous bomb,

I'm T-boned and punctured, I've been known to be calm.

Please, Mrs. Henry, Mrs. Henry, please!

I'm down on my knees and I ain't got a dime.

Now, I'm starting to drain, my stool's gonna squeak,

If I walk too much farther, my crane's gonna leak.

Look, Mrs. Henry, there's only so much I can do,

Why don't you look my way and pump me a few?

Please, Mrs. Henry, Mrs. Henry, please!

I'm down on my knees and I ain't got a dime.